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Welcome to the Frontline Herbalism Podcast with your host, Nicole Rose, from the
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Solidarity Apothecary.
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This is your place for all things plants and
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liberation.
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Let’s get started.
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Hello. Welcome back to the Frontline Herbalism Podcast.
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I’m so sorry for ghosting you.
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I will explain all the things that have been going on and I’ve got some very, very exciting
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updates as well.
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Long story short,
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I did the course launch, didn’t I? As you heard me bang on about it all the time
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for my PTSD course.
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And then,
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yeah, my son’s grandma came up to help for the last day, which was amazing.
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So I got to be able to send out the newsletters and stuff like that.
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And then because she lives far away, and it was, like, an amazing chance to have someone
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look after my son who I,
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you know, completely trust.
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I went on a prison visit to see my friend Kev inside, and I will talk a little bit about.
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About his conditions and a action alert shortly.
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But basically,
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after just working my *** off, I then thought,
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yeah, the day after a launch, I will drive all the way to Cambridgeshire,
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which was ******* ridiculous.
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But I’m just.
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I’ve just been so desperate to see him.
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And I’ve been meaning to go to see him, but,
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like, I’d planned to kind of, like, stop in Southampton and have my ex’s mum, you know,
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like, ask her to have Lee then, and then have,
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like, a shorter drive, but it’s just not worked out because of the heat waves and
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people getting sick and stuff.
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So I just thought, right, I’m just gonna drive
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from my caravan.
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Let’s do it.
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So it was, like six hours each way with a
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couple of breaks.
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Oh, was rough, but the visit was, like, incredible.
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And,
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yeah, it just was, like, amazing to have a hug and to talk about everything.
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Like, we’ve always stayed in touch on the phone.
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You know, we speak like, three, four times a week, like, pretty much every week.
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But,
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yeah, like, just nothing beats seeing someone in person.
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So it was very, very special.
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But I think, yeah, I think it was, like,
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maybe kind of old school.
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Nicole, like, not very wise decision in terms
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of, like, I was just smashed.
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And, like,
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yeah, it was kind of sad, but, like, the course didn’t make as much money as it usually
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makes, and I think there’s different factors, but I think mostly it’s because, like I
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mentioned, my son broke his AR in August, so I lost, like, a month of work.
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So, like,
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all that kind of buildup where I’m, like, promoting it and doing podcasts and Social
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media and like getting people to join the waiting list, like that just didn’t happen
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until kind of too late.
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So yeah, it’s just been a little bit like.
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And then I had to do like a big kind of financial audit of like what is possible to
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cut, what is possible to pause.
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Yeah, I’m not like, I try and not be dictated to by astrology.
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Like I’m enough,
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enough of a sceptic that I’m like, meh, I’ll be fine.
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But then the other part of me and I think probably having a mum who’s really into
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astrology,
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it’s like sometimes I feel like transits are just not noticeable and other times I just
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feel like smashed and I don’t know how other people have been doing but this like Venus
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retrograde and recent Mercury retrograde,
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it’s been rough.
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I just feel like nothing’s been smooth and everything’s felt quite hard work.
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But. Yeah, but basically after this like crazy like launch period of just like late nights,
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working loads, like just doing way too much, like loads of pressure and then the prison
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visit, basically my son, we took him to a soft play.
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Bad ******* decision.
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Always a bad decision,
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you know, Again, cold, wet, rainy day in England.
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What are you going to ******* do if you don’t have like a house to visit?
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Someone’s off play.
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Of course he caught a ******* virus, didn’t
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he? So then he was like really sick for a week or
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like 10 days,
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four days of like intermittent fever, which if you’re a parent is just so stressful because
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it’s like unbearable watching this little vulnerable ball of love, like suffer.
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So. And I have kind of like, not like medical anxiety but like,
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I think I went through a lot with him after he was in hospital.
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Oh God, I don’t want to go down this route but like he went to hospital after his first sort
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of vaccines for a week with having like a really severe reaction, like was on a drip and
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stuff.
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Like, just don’t get me started about how traumatising it was.
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So now whenever he’s ill I just feel like kind of like really intense.
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Like my nervous system is just like really overwhelmed and I just need a lot of kind of
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tlc.
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Not that anyone giving me tlc, but I just mean I need to kind of like keep on top of that,
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otherwise it’s just, yeah, too, too rough on the nervous system.
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So anyway, so he got sick and I was just trying so hard to not get sick.
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Just like all the immune tonics, like all the vitamin C and Zinc, all the good food,
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but just.
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You just can fight, like, tiredness and sleep
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deprivation.
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And I was just waking up a lot because of
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these fevers.
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And.
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Yeah, so then I got sick.
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So all the clients that I’d rearranged from
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Lee getting sick, I then had to rearrange because I was sick.
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So then there’s just been this, like, huge backlog of stuff to do, like, in terms of,
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like,
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yeah, just kind of like working on people’s recommendations, sorting stuff out in the herb
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shed.
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Like, like every client, there’s always like,
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one or two little extra things that can be a challenge of, like, this plan’s not working,
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so I need to, like, update it with something else.
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Or maybe they’ve got new blood tests that I need to look at.
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And it doesn’t sound like much, but when you’re supporting, like, over 100 people,
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that cumulative load is, like, really full on.
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I mean, 100 people wouldn’t be a problem if I worked full time, but it’s, you know, I. Like
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I said I’ve got, like.
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I think it’s like 12 hours of childcare in total with the nursery maybe a little bit more
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now, but, like, anyway,
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so I made a really hard decision to basically pause new clients.
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So my Rosehip Herbal Clinic is kind of just like, I put a notice up there.
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I took the packages offline and just said, like, you know, I will kind of reopen things
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in the near future.
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Like, I’m hoping for, like, end of January, if not sooner, but I don’t have any nursery for
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like, two weeks in December.
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And yeah, I’m just feeling, like, not burnt out, but just kind of like,
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it’s not my first ******* rodeo.
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Do you know what I mean?
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Like, I know my limits of, like, if I keep pushing at this pace is unsustainable.
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And once you kind of like, hit that burnout y stuff, it’s really hard to get back from it.
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And I just don’t have the infrastructure in my life to, like, let that happen in terms of,
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like, needing to take care of my son and stuff.
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So, anyway, so I’ve paused, like, new clients.
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And unfortunately, the Black Flag Herbal
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Clinic, the free clinic, is also still paused.
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Oh, my God. We’ve been trying to do this bandana to do, like, a fundraiser at
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Christmas.
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And, like, it’s just been really challenging.
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Again, I think it’s this Venus Mercury nonsense.
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Like,
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so I don’t know if it’s going to be ready.
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It’s close.
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Like, I’m, you know, I’m not An illustrator.
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But it’s like a lot of back and forth around
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kind of design and aesthetics and what’s working and it’s just not felt quite right, if
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that makes sense.
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So, anyway, so that’s on the pipeline.
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Wow. Sorry.
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This is a really long update and I’ve only got
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an hour to record it, so I better.
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I better move on.
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But basically, there’s been lots going on
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behind the scenes and,
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yeah, I’ve just not been running on, like, all cylinders.
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Like, I think what people don’t realise when you’re a single mum to a two and a half year
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old is that, like.
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Like,
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you just don’t get a chance to rest, like, until they’re asleep in the evening.
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And even then I’m often needing to, like, work and stuff.
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So it’s like,
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you know, like, when your body is like, screaming to just, like, have a lion or just,
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like, have some, like, parasympathetic downtime,
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and then you just have to, like, repress that urge and you just have to, like, keep going
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and do all the things and all the housework and food and the caring.
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It’s like.
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It’s a bit.
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Yeah, it is rough.
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I’m not gonna lie.
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I’ve been in a bit of, like, a grief zone of
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like,
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oh, this isn’t what I was imagining.
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And, like,
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ah,
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I don’t know, like, I have to, like, pay £20 an hour to, like, get any rest, which is,
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like,
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rough, especially when a third of your income’s been cut.
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So I don’t know, but I’m feeling like I’m crawling out of it.
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Venus and Mercury are gonna be going, or maybe not, I don’t know.
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Whatever.
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They’re gonna be going direct again, thank
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God.
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I think things will pick up.
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It’s all like.
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I hate the phrase first world problems, but it
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really is.
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Do you know what I mean?
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Like, I’m living my best life.
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I’ve got a beautiful boy, I’ve got safe
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housing, I’ve got enough money for food.
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Like, things are good.
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Like, I’m ******* privileged as ****.
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And the apothecary is still functioning and serving people, you know, like, people are
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still doing the PTSD course and reading the books and requesting the care packages and
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getting their medicines and, like, even if I feel like a duck,
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that’s just like paddling quickly underwater, I think kind of other people are like, at
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least still kind of like, yeah, getting their needs met, if that makes sense.
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So, anyway, so, yeah, so a lot been going on, but it’s all Good.
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So I still have a episode to record about insomnia, which I need to do to kind of like
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wrap up the series I did on sleep.
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So maybe you’ve listened to the previous
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episodes about things like nightmares.
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So I promise I will do that soon.
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But I just thought I would come in with a few
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updates.
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I’m so sorry I didn’t basically get a chance
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to record a podcast in time to promote the Hawthorne programme.
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So the applications are now closed for that.
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Oh yeah, I forgot to say the main reason I couldn’t record anything is I just had like a
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perpetual sore throat, so I couldn’t talk for longer than 10 minutes about losing my voice.
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So anyway, but, yeah, but the Hawthorne programme is like a three month container of
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collective care for people experiencing state repression.
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So people on TR who’ve been arrested, who have, you know, got cases hanging over their
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heads, who’ve been getting raided by police, like stuff like this,
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we basically have a group chat and group calls and then people get like one to one herbal
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support from me and then there’s like a bunch of online content that they can work through,
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like at their own pace, you know, around like repression and the nervous system and
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herbalism.
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So there’s been like 40 applications, which is amazing.
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And I’d really hoped that I’d got back to people already this week.
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Applications close on Sunday, but like, I wasn’t expecting that many applications.
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And yeah, I just need.
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I just kind of want to like personally reply
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to people that I’m not able to support right now.
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And yeah, I’ve been very like, reflective about that recently of just kind of like that
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grief around your own limits of like,
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I literally can’t support that many people on my own, like without, you know, kind of
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funding or infrastructure for that or whatever.
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But like, yeah, just kind of like hard having a child that needs you all the time.
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But then it’s also hard having like email after email from people in like really
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intense, like distress who are like really going through the ringer in terms of stay
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violence and then just, you know, having to like not reply for 3 weeks because of just
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being like mega overwhelmed.
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So anyway, so if you’ve applied, then please expect an email from me, hopefully tomorrow,
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if not Monday.
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And yeah, I’m super excited about this
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offering.
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Like, nothing comes close to me than
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supporting people experiencing repression.
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Like I went through a decade of,
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you know, being arrested, being on bail,
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three and a half years in prison, really heavy licence conditions, seeing all my mates get
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sentenced to prison.
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Like, I’ve, you Know, I went through that
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stuff when I was really young and it’s kind of like stayed with me how traumatising it is if
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you don’t have support through that kind of experience.
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So that’s like literally why I create the Solar Apothecary.
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So it’s a very, very special offering.
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So that’s exc.
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But the announcements that I wanted to make today were about some sexy merchandise.
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So yeah, onto the fundraising.
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No rest for the wicked.
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But basically,
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folks probably know I’ve been involved in a project for years now called the Mobile Herbal
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Clinic Calais.
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It’s a mobile clin, a mobile clinic with a
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team of kind of doctors and herbalists and first aiders.
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Paramedic, you know, we have the odd paramedic who volunteers, but basically we used to go to
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FR pretty much the first week of every month and that’s kind of reduced literally because
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of finances, which is extremely frustrating.
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But yeah, when we are in France, like people are coming to the clinic with wounds and
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musculoskeletal problems like sprains and strains and yeah, kind of upper respiratory,
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like coughs, colds, things like this.
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And you know, you get everything from gunshot wounds to TB and someone’s collapsed and
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they’re not breathing.
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You’ve got to get them to hospital.
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Like, you know, it’s like a whole spectrum of care and our kind of main role in the field is
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actually just like advocating for people,
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like getting them to hospital, giving them translated materials so they know where they
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can access further like higher health care as well as offering herbal support as a kind of
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like self care tool.
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So maybe that’s like a wound cleaning kit with a fantastic herbal wound spray.
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Maybe that’s like respiratory pack where someone can have cough syrup and chest rub and
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an immune tonic and they kind of have, have translated instructions of where to go if
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their cough doesn’t get better, et cetera,
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et cetera.
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I’ve talked about the clinic a bunch, so.
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But basically it’s extremely grassroots.
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Fundraising is really rough for this project.
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Like I don’t know if other herbalists have managed to get grants and stuff, but it’s a
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nightmare.
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So yeah, we really are dependent on people
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buying like merchandise and we would love to build up the amount of people that are just
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donating like once a month.
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But I think, yeah, inevitably it’s the sexy merch that sells.
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So yeah, we have the original design drawn by Imani.
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So it’s like these beautiful illustrations of plants that we use in the clinic with the text
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saying plants?
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No, no, Borders.
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It was our most ever, like most popular ever
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design.
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I always get emails from people asking me,
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when is it coming back? And I’ve been like, it’s not coming back,
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but I’m just capitulating to it that it’s easier than trying to find another
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illustration and go through all that stuff.
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Stuff.
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And it is just a beautiful design.
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So we’ve got a few more options this year.
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So we’ve got it available as T shirts and in several different colours, like a beautiful
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green colour, a maroon, a rusty kind of orangey brown and like a kind of mustardy
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yellow and black obviously.
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And then we also have a sexy black long sleeve T shirt for you punks that love the long
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sleeves.
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So. And it’s got no borders down the sleeves as well.
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Well, and then we’ve got hoodies, so we’ve got like a black hoodie again with the no borders
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down the sleeve and the same design.
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And we’ve also got the hoodie in green this time.
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So. Yeah, so please check them out.
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So they are a pre order, which basically means
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you order it now.
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And then at the end of November I tell,
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well, I give the printers, the screen printers, who are a awesome crew of punks who
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are just like super talented at this stuff, super professional use all like organic
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sweatshop free clothing and they basically order everything.
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I put it all in a spreadsheet of the numbers and then they order it and then they print it
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and then they give it to me and then I text everyone being like, can anyone help me post
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out these T shirts?
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And then we post them out basically.
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So you won’t get your T shirt straight away.
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They will get printed like the first week of December.
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So I don’t want to like give like Christmas promises, but if you order sooner, you will
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kind of be at the top of the pile, if that makes sense.
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Because I just go through the order list like bit by bit when I’m packing things.
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So.
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So, yeah, so they’re pre order.
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So get in there now.
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We ship everywhere apart from Europe.
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I’m sorry, it’s just horrendous posting to
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mainland Europe, Post Brexit.
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So if you live in Europe, on the mainland,
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just hit up your mates in the UK and ask if you can order things to their address and then
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maybe they can post it to you.
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Because I just have too many experiences of
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packages getting returned and ****** emails from people demanding refund funds.
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And like it’s really rough, like running a grassroots project and people thinking that
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you’re Amazon, like I am not Amazon.
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So,
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yeah, and like, you know, we send everything out tracked with Royal Mail, but it would just
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take too long to email everyone with their tracking info.
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So.
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Yeah, and you know, 95% of things just get delivered fine.
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But like the odd parcel gets.
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Goes missing, that person gets upset or
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sometimes they don’t even ******* remember that they’ve ordered something.
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Then they email six months later saying, where’s my thing?
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I put this address of a squat down and I’m just like,
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off, dude.
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No, I’m not, I promise.
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I have a customer service face on.
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But basically there’s like a whole fancy terms and conditions page now where I’m just like,
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this is a pre order, this is what it means.
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Like if you haven’t received your item within
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eight weeks, like, please email us.
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Like anything beyond eight weeks, you won’t
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get a refund.
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Just lots of learning from doing this, like so many times.
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How many years have I done this?
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Oh, at least five years in a row.
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Probably more.
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Probably more like, oh, what’s 20, 19?
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Oh my God, seven years.
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And I’ve done it like twice a year.
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So yeah,
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so anyway, it’s probably.
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Yeah, but anyway, so they are beautiful T
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shirts.
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Like they are going to make that little queer cutie you’ve got a crush on very happy if you
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buy them a T shirt.
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So yeah, please, please, please that and also
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give it a share on social media.
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That would just be so appreciated because,
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yeah, it’s just hard with the algorithm in it.
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Especially if you put refugee or Calais in the
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caption.
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You just get like buried.
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So, yeah, if you can kind of promote it forward, the emails I send out,
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it would just mean the world to me.
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Okay.
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And then the other sexy merchandise that you want to get your hands on is for a crew called
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Nobody’s Herbals.
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So I’m going to talk about them in a second.
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But basically they’ve got a Herbal Resistance
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calendar.
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Don’t all come at once.
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Can I say that it’s right, it’s my show, I can say what I want.
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Sorry, this is a really weird episode.
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I am like tired.
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Okay. You know like when,
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if you have children,
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when you’re like, child gets like tired and then they just start.
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My ex’s mum calls it, he’s going over the top, he’s gone.
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I’m like that.
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I’m like so tired that I’ve just like gone
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into like silliness land.
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But basically this calendar is like ******* sexy.
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So there’s like different illustrations for each month with like herbal themes.
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We’ve got like mushrooms growing out of like police cars,
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like different routes, like people in balaclavas.
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Obviously it’s, it’s giving me like strong Euro punk anarchist vibes but like of the
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beautiful aesthetic kind.
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And it’s just like.
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Yeah, it’s just really, it’s just really gorgeous.
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Like I really need to order my own copy.
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But yeah, so the calendars are available and then they also have these large T shirts with
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someone like running through a kind of forest and there’s like mountains and then they’ve
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like cut a fence and then there’s herbs growing.
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Obviously there’s herbs growing up the fence but it says uncage, the land migration is our
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nature.
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Oh and they’re so gorgeous.
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I wish I wore like normal T shirts but I’m
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gonna buy one and then kind of like try and fem modify it.
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Like I’m not gonna lie, I just like a SK Skinny fit tea.
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But yeah, they’re really, really beautiful T shirts.
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And also the previous design, maybe you’ve seen it on my Instagram,
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is also available which is like,
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I can’t remember what it says.
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Like your walls, borders plants won’t follow
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your law in order with like a Bulgarian cop car covered in plants.
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So you’re getting the vibe.
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But they’re really, really beautiful.
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And again,
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please share the out of them.
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So basically they’re fundraising for a project
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called no Borders Herbals.
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So I have talked about them before and, and I’ve put them on the website and you’re
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actually able to donate to them via my website as well.
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Like that’s where the original text was.
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But now they’ve got their own sexy website and it is sexy.
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I mean like caps lock ******* sexy.
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So I’ll read the blur, but it says, yeah, no
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Borders Herbals is a self organised grassroot network of medicine makers, growers, foragers,
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community organisers and solidarians sourcing, skill sharing, making and distributing herbal
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medicine to people facing border violence on the so called Balkan route.
Nicole:
So yeah, so they are basically like at zero of like funds right now.
Nicole:
But the.
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Yeah the plans or like they’ve been doing like
Nicole:
so much stuff like in terms of like building that infrastructure, building that research,
Nicole:
like testing out different packs to use, like distributing things.
Nicole:
And it’s quite hard to talk about the project because like as a kind of region solidarity
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work is like extremely criminalised.
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Like you know, like people do get arrested in
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France and stuff.
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And it’s not that it’s not criminalised but like it’s kind of like next level more so I
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don’t want to say like underground but I just mean like yeah, it’s kind of harder in terms
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of like anti oppression to organise there particularly because like the far right and
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stuff is like so strong and yeah,
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just kind of like migration in general is like so heavily criminalised so.
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But yeah, but they’ve been doing like all sorts of stuff on the ground which again can’t
Nicole:
really easily talk about but lots has been happening and again super grassroots like
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project need your support and they’ve got the same order deadline as us.
Nicole:
So 29th November, get your order in.
Nicole:
By then if you live in a squat, if you’re part
Nicole:
of a distro, order 10 t shirts, do you know, I mean you’ll be able to sell them on.
Nicole:
Just support it if you can and again re share it on social media if you don’t mind.
Nicole:
Okay, this has literally been a podcast of shameless plugs but I’ve got one more and I
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guess this is the one that is.
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Is.
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Well they’re all really close to my heart actually.
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But this is about my friend Kev in prison.
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So yeah, if anyone’s followed me for a long
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time, you’ll have heard me talk about Kev.
Nicole:
And you know I get, we get the odd picture of us together on a visit which is lovely.
Nicole:
But yeah, basically it would be a really long show if I talked about his case in detail.
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But the very short version is he is living in a close supervision centre which is a prison
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within a prison.
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It’s literally a prison within a prison.
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Like when you visit it is, is a tiny building with like razor wire and like wire like over
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the top of it and walls around it within like the bigger prison unit.
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And the regime is really, really, really full on in terms of solitary confinement.
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So yeah, like Kev,
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I won’t.
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I’m not going to go into his whole case
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because like I’ve literally got 10 more minutes of childcare.
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I’ll put a link to his website in the show.
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Notes, notes.
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But long story,
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like shouldn’t be in prison.
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Has like resisted conditions in the prison
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system which has led him to experience really intense repression in the system.
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Like he’s racialized.
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Like it’s all to do with like the prison
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officers union and like the embedded racism in prisons.
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But basically he’s in really intense solitary confinement and it’s just like worse than it
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thing.
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So yeah, the UN Human Rights Special Rapporteur.
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I don’t know how to Say it.
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But they literally did a report about Kev and
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the conditions of cses of saying it’s like one of the like worst kind of regimes of solitary
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confinement they’ve like come across.
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So yeah, he’s basically like spending like several days like not getting out of the cell.
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And yeah, like if you can imagine living in a two by two room for like hours and hours and
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hours at a time, it’s brut.
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And it’s very intentional in terms of the regime and how they are restricting people so
Nicole:
not letting certain prisoners out with other prisoners, restricting time in the courtyard,
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restricting time doing other activities, cancelling visits left, right and centre.
Nicole:
Yeah, and just kind of having these really long kind of lockdowns where he’s just not
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getting out and he’s obviously going stir crazy.
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So yeah,
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please just take like two seconds to fill in this Action Network thing.
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You basically pop your contact details in and it automatically emails the prison.
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I’m not like one of these people that’s like, this is illegal, this is not illegal but like
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it is an illegal regime.
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Like they are not following their prison
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service kind of rules, they’re not following human rights law.
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Like they are just basically torturing him because they ******* can.
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And there needs to be much more, more organised resistance to that.
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And I probably feel a lot of grief about,
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yeah, my kind of struggles in terms of like consistently organising prisoner solidarity.
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Now I’ve got a son like on my own and all this but like basically he really needs your
Nicole:
support and if you can get involved in a group, like I work for example,
Nicole:
the Incarcerated Workers Organising Committee, which is like a kind of prisoner support crew
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within the industrial works of the world, the iww, which are kind of like, like they can’t
Nicole:
call themselves an anarchist union but like pretty much everyone involved is an anarchist
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and they do lots of workplace organising and agitation and different things.
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So yeah, if you want to kind of get involved in a crew that’s like organising support for
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Kev more consistently, then they are a great group to join.
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But yeah, if you’ve only got two seconds, please just like fill in this Action Network
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thing.
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I would really, really appreciate that because it is unbearable seeing someone you love just.
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Yeah, getting treated so horrifically in prison.
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So yeah, I would appreciate that.
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Oh my days.
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Have I got any other updates? I don’t think so.
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I’m gonna be.
Nicole:
Have I got any other updates? I don’t think so right now other than just
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like all out with this like merchandise and promotions and Christmas capitalism of like
Nicole:
promoting this much.
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But,
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yeah, we really need, like,
Nicole:
something needs to change with this fundraising malarkey.
Nicole:
I am exhausted from not having having resources to do stuff,
Nicole:
and, you know, I’m super resourced compared to most.
Nicole:
But watch this space.
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For my Frontline Herbalism membership.
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I have been working on it a lot in the evenings.
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And,
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yeah, part of why I’ve paused my clinic is I just want to give it my kind of full energy
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and attention just to, yeah, create something where there can be that kind of, like,
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recurring,
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like, revenue kind of like sustaining projects and where,
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yeah, loads of people could learn these skills in like, like herbal street medicine and
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disaster response and community herbalism.
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And we can have, like, guest teachers and
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learn from, like, a bunch of people.
Nicole:
And. Yeah, I’m just so excited about it.
Nicole:
And I’m going to be working on the sales page
Nicole:
soon, so people can join the waiting list.
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But I’m done selling T shirts.
Nicole:
This girl’s out.
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So, yeah, I just want to raise money to make happen.
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And I’m just excited about it and I’m passionate about herbalism.
Nicole:
And I’m gonna stop talking now because my little one is on his way back.
Nicole:
But thank you for listening.
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I promise I will be back soon with the episode
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to finish off the sleep series.
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And it is on my list to approach more people
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to do some interviews.
Nicole:
There’s like, a bunch of people that have said yes, but we just haven’t been able to, like,
Nicole:
nail the interview.
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But I just.
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Yeah, I really want to have more people on the show.
Nicole:
So if you’re interested in that, drop me an email as well.
Nicole:
Okay. Thanks for listening.
Nicole:
I will put everything in the show.
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Notes, please buy a T shirt, please share everything on social media.
Nicole:
The action alert for Kev.
Nicole:
And I appreciate you pre.
Nicole:
Please take care of yourself through this
Nicole:
******* virus season.
Nicole:
And, yeah, sending lots of love.
Nicole:
Thanks so much for listening to the Frontline
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Herbalism podcast.
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You can find the transcript, the links, all
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the resources from the show@solidarity apothecary.org podcast.
